Did Caesar live here?

"You guys may not know this, but I consider myself…a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack." - Alan Garner 

And sadly... 

" You don't win friends with salad." - Homer Simpson

Well Homer, let's test this.  What's the worse that can happen?  Can't lose what you don't have, right?  Plus, I was thinking about adding some Rohypnol.  Passed out people can't say no...to dinner plans, that is.

If we're going to do salad we better do this shit right!

Let's start with the obvious.  We need a carcass.  I picked chicken.  It is a Chicken Caesar Salad after all.  But I'll be damned if I'm going to boil a few hunks of dead hen.  Just because there's lettuce here doesn't mean there needs to be flavorless bits of rubber too.  We need chicken, a marinade, and the oven for this job!  

" And we're the three best friends that anyone could have.  And we're the three best friends that anyone could have.  And we're the three best friends that anyone could have!"

I pulled a few things out of my satchel and created a zesty marinade.  

1/4 cup olive oil

2-3 gloves minced garlic depending on how much you like garlic 

1 tbsp lemon juice

2 tbsp caesar dressing

1/4 tsp onion powder

1 tsp white wine vinegar 

pepper to taste

Whisk like hell and add chicken.

Marinade for 2 hours in the fridge then bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes.

That should have been it.  I mean, I don't think anyone needs directions on how open the bag of roman lettuce, add chicken, add dressing, and ( of course ) croutons.  

Oh sweet mother of Jehoshaphat!  I seem to be out of croutons.  The horror.  The fucking horror!  Salad without croutons is like Rosa Parks without a bus.  Like Jews without nails.  Like sluts without a tramp stamp.  It's just not right.

Now what?

Hmmmmm...Well, I have these leftover rolls from when I made Phillys....

I also have nifty knife skills.

Toss in olive oil, garlic and pepper  ( Tiger's like pepper, they don't like cinnamon ).  Bake at 275 for 25-30 minutes or until nice and toasty.

Damn straight, yo.  I just made mother fucking croutons like a boss!

NOW you can add everything together.  I even provided a little tune to sing while you work.

Ratings - ( a possibility of 5 ☆'s )

Cost - ☆☆☆☆.5   Bag lettuce, chicken, and bread you we're probably going to throw away...  Gee, don't break the bank.


Difficulty - ☆☆☆☆.5  Really, how much easier can it get?  You don't even have to cut the lettuce.  

Taste - ☆☆☆☆ - Zesty, garlicky, healthy, tastiness.

Clean up - ☆☆☆☆  2 cookie sheets, one bowl for marinading, measuring cup, measuring spoons, whisk, knife.  All dishwasher safe.  There is also putting everything back in your satchel and/or fridge.  7 items.    8 if you include the leftover lettuce.

"Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack.

Happy Porking People!