It's late, I'm tired and you can fuck yourself. Yeah, I know I'm being a jerk. So what? I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with the sickening amount of beef jerky I've consumed recently. It's just a fun coincidence.
This is going to be a short blog so that I can lay in bed and continue to stuff shriveled up meat in my mouth. Let's start with a link to a recipe that's pretty damn good. JERK I have tested this recipe and it is fucking tasting, however the marinade will skunk up your whole house. It was so pungent I went blind for a few hours...or was that the drugs?
Anyways, the two types of jerky pictured above were made, not with the recipe given but with the following.
These packs were purchased at Cabelas. Those of you not cool enough to live near a Cabelas will have to check out their website. High Mountain Seasonings The packs are slightly more expensive on their website, but that's your dumb luck not mine.
I guess you can do this shit in an oven. You know, if you're a caveman and haven't bought a dehydrated. Come on people, I've already provided you one fabulous recipe that utilizes it. You didn't really think I'd stop there did ya? Fool.
I realize the picture is blurry. I was too busy not giving a fuck to correct it.
Blah, Blah, Blah, buy some meat ( Top round was used here ) and cut it up. One of my more intelligent readers pointed out to me that you can have your butcher handle your meat. Trust me, this is the route you want to take. The less you have it in your hands the quicker it'll be in your mouth.
* That's what she said *
The seasoning packs may seem a bit expensive but keep in mind that you do NOT use the whole thing. This will make several batches. Did I mention that they provide a neat little shaker?
The darker colored bag contains the spices and the pale bag is the cure stuff. No society jokes tonight people, sorry.
You'll also be provided with instruction that help you accurately mix the two for the amount of meat you have. Remember, size doesn't matter...HA! Yes it does!
So you mix the two, sprinkle on meat, let cure for 24 hours and then dehydrate for 6-8 hours. Sounds time consuming, I know. Just think of it as a good time to organize your porn. Wash your hands and any effected surfaces after. Please and thank you.
That's it. Pull your wrinkly meat out, lay on some paper towels and then eat it!
Ratings - ( a possibility of 5 ☆'s )
Cost - ☆☆☆.5 Meat was from Costco. About 3 lbs for 18 dollars. Each spice pack cost 6.99. I realize this sounds super pricy for jerky but it's really not. Like I said before, the spice packs will make many batches. As for the price of the meat, go try buying 3 lbs of good jerky for less. I guarantee it won't happen.
Jerk that meat real good baby!
Happy Porking People!
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