Meatloaf

"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." Ever wonder what the hell Meatloaf was talking about in that song? For a long time I thought it was probably a rectal exam but now I'm pretty sure he was just sick of eating his namesake. Meatloaf isn't exactly the most appetizing meal I can think of. I'm fairly sure that some three year old, play dough enthusiast created this odd dinner in her easy bake oven. Meatloaf gets all dried out, can be bland, and is just weird. But, for some reason, I love the crap. Here's a recipe I found that's like a "Bat Out of Hell"...uh...it's good.

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/creamy-mushroom-meatloaf/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=meatloaf&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Home%20Page

If you viewed the above link, you'll have noticed that the recipe is actually just for the sauce that you put on the meatloaf. It actually says to use a veal, pork, ferret, bald eagle loaf. I just used ground beef. One pound ground beef, half an onion cut up, one egg whisked to death, salt, pepper, 1/4 cup bread crumbs. Form into two small phallic looking shapes.

Then follow the "AllRecipe.com" direction, making sure to half everything since you are using about half the meat. What's that? You want me to tell you how I did it? Fuck that! I followed the directions ass lick. I don't think I really need to type them all back out. That's plagiarism, sucka.

Piss! The stove is dirty. How very unprofessional of me. Bite me. Cooking causes messes. The help can clean it later. She just can't use the same bathroom as us white folk. ( It's a book/movie, stop acting like I just tarred and feathered someone! ) So, here's the mushrooms cooking away in butter, beef broth, pepper, rosemary and flour. Once it had thickened I added the cream and then the two loafs into the sauce. Cover your loafs with the sauce and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes.

I highly recommend saving and/or making extra sauce because it's honestly tastier than crack, especially on mashed potatoes. Actually, come to think of it, crack isn't good on mashed potatoes so that's a shitty comparison. Let me just say, it's really fucking yummy.

Ratings - ( a possibility of 5 ☆'s )

Cost - ☆☆☆☆ My beef version was pretty cheap. I had left over mushrooms from the Chicken Marsala I made earlier in the week. The beef cost about 2.66. Everything else I had on hand and, with the exception of the cream, you should too. Now if you make a veal, bald eagle, dolphin loaf, you'll probably pay out the ass.

Difficulty - ☆☆☆.5 You're going to have to touch the meat to form the loafs. That's icky. It's also a little difficult to tell when the meat if fully cooked.

Taste - ☆☆☆☆ Better than crack.

Clean up - ☆☆☆ Bowl, cutting board, measuring cup, measuring spoon, meatloaf pan, skillet. The meatloaf pan had to be scrubbed by hand to remove the baked on STDs.

"For Crying Out Loud." " Seize the Night." Make Meatloaf!!

Happy Porking People!